reflections

today is the last day of 2018. it was a wild year of growth and inner exploration, travels and deep love. of course, that is within the scope of my personal life. the world at large, however, experienced pain and destruction, things i am well aware of, but prefer not to reflect on in this space. this wholly imperfect life is one in which i seek beauty and try to incapsulate it with all of my being.

i’ve always felt that before i can meditate on my intentions for a new year, i must reflect on the one that is just finishing. it is, after all, the culmination of the past 365 days that brought me to where i am now, in this current mental, physical, and spiritual space.

last year, i came across a beautifully curated compilation of questions that allowed me to reflect on the days leading up to 2018. i thought these reflections were the perfect way to end the year, and so what follows, are this year’s thoughts…

reflections on 2018:

the single best thing that happened this year: I traveled to Paris with mama

the single most challenging thing that happened: mapping out our future, asking the tough questions of if/when we’ll start a family, what does that look like, where will we be…

an unexpected joy: running while listening to podcasts. in all my years of running, it wasn’t until this year that i started running with earphones.

three words to describe this past year: liberating. exploration. grounding.

three words your partner would use to describe your year: growth. friendships. peace.

the best books i read this year: When Breath Becomes Air. Calypso.

most valuable relationships were with: Gino, Josselyn, Shaddi, Renae

biggest personal change from January to December: following my heart and reducing my percentage at work to allow for more space in my life to do things that excite me.

ways I grew emotionally: celebrating quiet time, listening to my heart

ways i grew spiritually: practiced meditation in its personal forms. spent more time outside, in nature, finding a sense of grounding when i felt unsettled (through trail runs, beach runs, and gardening). coming to acceptance of the unknown ahead.

ways I grew physically: actually responding to my body’s needs. welcoming rest. running more for the spirit and less for the rush.

ways I grew in my relationships with others: making more time. practicing vulnerability.

most enjoyable part of my work: at the hospital, precepting. this is also the year I started working at Fiore as a floral assistant. every aspect of my time there is enjoyable. it is inspiring, beautiful, and calming.

most challenging part of my work: at the hospital, being motivated when i’m not precepting, the days are long and when we are as busy as we’ve been, it takes a lot to recover.

single biggest time waster: social media, scrolling through instagram

best way i used my time: when I decided to go part-time at the hospital, I sought an opportunity to explore my interests. the flower shop has been just that.

the biggest thing i learned this year: follow your heart. take a risk.

a phrase that describes this past year for me: my heart is the internal compass that helps me navigate this uncertain life. listening to it has led me to a better understanding and acceptance of self.

…what an incredibly full year. i am ever grateful for the days that made up 2018 and look forward to starting anew.

onward we go.

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